The Hold

9 March 2014

 7 years since i last blogged, because i never seemed to need it after awhile. The reason why i started this blog is because of you. Last night when i possibly walked you home from West Mall, many thoughts were flooding my mind. The idea of holding our relationship for a year was scary indeed for me in so many ways. For the first time, i found someone whom i love and who loved me in a way that i can only be thankful to God for. You don't need to be perfect for me, to have to love what i love, to meet me intellectually nor in the topics i liked to talk about. People may feel that we are not compatible due to the many differences in our upbringing and family culture. The crazy thing was that i never imagined myself to fall so crazily in love with someone like you! I never believed in the saying that when you meet your soulmate, you have found your other half. I rather think that we were 2 individuals who found one another and chose to stick by each other's side! I was torn between the decision to agree to the holding period or to just disregard it totally. However, just like you, i wanted everyone's full blessings when we openly get together, and not wanting you to ever feel that people are frowning upon our relationship. This 1 year is going to be such a tough ordeal, but somehow with the end in mind, i think its so important. I look forward to the day that we can be united as one again, to be able to hold you in my arms, to cry in front of you, to pour out everything that happened in my day with you, to share my life with you. It is so scary to have to enter SMU without you physically by my side to tell me i can do it! so scary to hear from you one day that God says no ( i pray that day never comes!!). There will definitely be things i would miss doing, such as walking you home, waiting for you to end work to take 174 home, to have you lie on my shoulder and fall asleep, to grocery shopping with you, to going to the playground and chat with you, to playing with girl girl and boy boy with you. But i know that this walk with God needs to be done alone. Just like in the story i told you once about a christian book " wild at heart". I need to slay my "dragons" alone, to face life's challenges with God alone, before i get to my princess. I vow to take this 1 year to grow and mature even more, to be moulded by God to be the right person for you. Im looking forward to 365 days from now. (: with you.