30th April 2014

Future Daniel to current Daniel

Stop beating yourself up. It doesn't help.
Stop these negative thoughts. It doesn't help.
Stop being indecisive. You agreed to this wait. SO WAIT QUIETLY!
Stop reminiscing about the past wonderful moments together. Move on! The memories are supposed to stay happy and remain right where they are.
Stop worrying and fearing what may or may not happen. You are NOT GOD! just wait patiently.

Dos
Do love God even more
Do love your family even more
Do love peilin even more. She deserves to be treated well.
Do focus on your studies. It's going to be an uphill fight. You need to concentrate.
Do live each day happily with a smile. You owe it to yourself.
Do wake up your ideas and fantasies. It will kill you!
Do wait. It will drain every bit of faith and energy in you. But at the end, you will be glad you did.

26th April 2014

As I stepped out of San Churro tonight, I saw the most amazing thing for a very long time. A mid-40 year old man with a cardboard sign that said " I was an addict, but Jesus saved me".

I had such a huge urge to just go up and hug him, to let him know that he taught me something so valuable. A lifetime of sermons is incomparable to a moment of obedience to God. Nothing is ever the same. He stood along a road in North bridge, amidst clubs blaring music and drunk people, with cops patrolling the streets.

This guy had a purpose. It was soo laser focused. He came back to the very same place that once chained him with drugs. That he might be a difference now and offer the greatest invite to whoever was still in bondage to receive Jesus in their life.

He taught me love, patience and an indomitable spirit, to bear the stares that passerby are giving him, the sneers and jeers. BECAUSE he saw the bigger picture, that for God's glory, it is all worth it. He understood the fact that whatever he was facing was a fraction of what Jesus went through to save us eternally.

I felt so ashamed, so upset at myself. What's stopping me from being like this man?? It's a spiritual warfare going on!! Christianity isn't just an individual fight, it's God's army against the Devil's! And how quick it is in our church to forget that, that we only choose to see the easy, non violence part of it all. God battled for our souls, it's war! Not playtime. I guess it's time to suit up and acknowledge the battles ahead.

I choose to be braver. So God help me.

19th April 2014

It's Easter Holiday! Each year on Easter, I am reminded of the amazing love of Christ. I'm still blown away by how much the God of the universe cares for me enough, to know that I am powerless to come before Him in my own strength. He recognised that, and so He came in the form of a man to reconcile me back, to do what I can never do. I was once destined for the flames of Hell, but He won't have it that way. All my past present future sins are akin to a foul smelling dark substance that Jesus took upon himself, that He faced the full wrath of His Father, being separated from God for the very first time in the whole of existence. With the words "it is done". I am redeemed.

Psalm 103:12
As far as the east is from the west, so far as he removed our transgressions from us.

Isaiah 1:18
Though my sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Deeply loved. Abounding joy. (:

18th April 2014

I feel like a complete fool for trying my best to protect you even when I can't be with you.

You took my trust, worry and concern and wrapped it up and threw it out of your mind in exchange for what felt the best and right at that moment for you.

Sorry but I really need time to start all over again to have faith in you.

5th April 2014

Once again I find myself before you O Lord. Today was not an easy day to pass, I sinned against my brother, I let anger consumed me today. The day didn't get any easier, everything seems set against me today and I can't wait for the day to just end already. Tried to escape by sleeping, but still You called me. All I heard was "here is love".

3rd April 2014

The fool didn't know it was impossible
So he did it

It has been such a long time since anything hit me that hard and made me give it so much thought. How clouded I realised I became when I started to grow older, as I turned 21, life seems to tell me to bear more responsibilities and duties.  I no longer have the same carefree outlook on life. Faced with the impending reality of university looming in a few short months, I was so caught up with thoughts like "wow, how am I going to excel in this place" and "it seems like such an uphill task to get a second upper class honours, let alone first class". Unknowingly, I placed so much limitations on myself.

This phrase shed light unto my life and showed me that everything is possible! I just have to lean on God and have a faith like a child. Not to say that I become a fool, but to deal with what's coming up ahead with the confidence of a fool. (: